University at Buffalo (UB)
Release Date: March 8, 1999 This content is archived.
BUFFALO, N.Y. -- Proper dining manners and self-presentation skills were on the menu at last week's first annual "Etiquette Luncheon" at the University at Buffalo, hosted by the Office of Career Planning and Placement.
The mock business luncheon, held in conjunction with the Faculty Student Association, was led by Susan Makai of Personal Best, who talked more than 100 students through a four-course lunch with detailed rules of conduct covering everything from how to dress and what to talk about to what utensils and glassware to use.
"The event was planned in response to the level of anxiety our students feel when they are in a formal business lunch or dinner setting," explained Dan Ryan, director of career planning and placement. "How students present themselves in this setting plays a significant role in how they are viewed by potential employers."
In an era where college students live on microwave dinners and fast food, students can be intimidated by more than one fork or spoon at their place setting, Ryan added.
"Proper etiquette is extremely important today because we're in a very competitive work world and these skills are not stressed as much at home anymore," Makai told students. "We want you to be able to have a formal meal and feel comfortable about it."
Students were forced to tackle some potentially messy food -- a salad with large vegetables, French onion soup, peas and rice, a piece of chicken with skin and bones, and a crumbly pastry dessert covered with powdered sugar -- that made it troublesome for students to eat and converse gracefully.
"The catch here is that you're being served some really difficult food -- atypical from what you should normally order," Makai explained. "In a real setting, choose something easy to cut and eat while having a conversation."
She began by going back to the basics: Liquids on the right. Solids, such as bread and salad, on the left. Start with utensils from the outside and work your way in toward the plate. No elbows on the table. And don't eat until everyone is served.
If there was one thing she could not emphasize enough, it was "Don't lick your fingers at the table."
Some of the rules were new to the audience, particularly the many international students who attended.
Jennifer Chen, a computer-science major from China, enjoyed the opportunity to learn appropriate American manners. "It is much different from the dinner manner in China," she explained. "I don't have a chance to practice using a knife and fork too often."
Marc Zimmer, a German graduate student in engineering, also found the differences interesting. "I am considering an internship here and wanted to figure out what was official, in case I have to go to a meeting."
Makai advised students to try to stay away from alcohol at a dinner or luncheon because "you never know what will happen." She also noted that in the event of a buffet, avoid overfilling your plate or making several trips.
Other "don'ts," Makai noted, include name-dropping, gossiping, leaving cell phones turned on, putting notes or bags on the table, tucking one's tie into one's shirt, stuffing the napkin into the shirt collar, complaining about the food, telling off-color or racist jokes, leaving the table abruptly and talking while chewing.
She advised students to accept compliments graciously, thank the host, speak clearly and slowly, be affirmative in responses and ask open-ended questions. She also told students to be sure to keep the pace of their eating consistent with the rest of their table.
To make the experience more realistic, local employers representing such companies as Marine Midland; Tops Markets, Inc.; Veridian Engineering; Clientlogic; Ingram Micro, and MDS Matrix sat among the students.
"Part of the day's success was having the employers there," Ryan noted. "They were able to provide the 'real world' perspective that students value."